When fear control your life and what you can do to turn it around

Fear has to be embraced. It cannot be fought, cannot be battled, cannot be conqured by sheer force of will.

There are many things we can do to subdue those voices in our heads. Drink, drugs, any damaging habit can be marshalled to quiet them. But they still whisper. Still keep us up at night.

But we can still control our fears. They come from that same space as our greatest ideas, deepest loves and most fanciful fantasies. They are still a product of our minds.

We have the ability to examine our own thoughts. As they come and go throughout the day, we look at and judge each passing stray idea that enters our mind. We remember the good ones, act on them, and discard the bad.

I can tell you that you can do that with your fears. But the lingering, insidious nature of fear can’t be dealt with so easily. It takes work to overcome our fears. But there are somethings we can do.

Learn to recognize your fears. Give each distinct one a name. Familiarity will help you overcome them. Failure is a common fear. My own fear of failure has a name, has a personality even. When he, it is a he, speaks to me I know who is speaking.

We all have a friend with wild ideas. A trip around the world, a marathon to run in three months, a brand-new business idea that will make millions. We know who they are, we can entertain their ideas, but we can easily see through them. We do not take them seriously.

It is the same with your different fears. We learn to recognize them and we learn to dismiss them.

Another fear we can learn to recognize is the fear of loss. When we have accomplished something it is hard to move on from that, to risk all our hard work.

Or we might be put off by the path to success. We might be afraid of the work we will have to do. We will be put off by it. Putting ourselves through misery, even though we can recognize the benefits of it, has stopped millions from dieting, from exercising, from realizing the positives of a healthy life.

Humiliation is another fear. Having everyone know you have tried and failed can be damaging. Pity and ridicule are not pleasant.

But we all take ourselves too seriously. We are only a short breath of time, all the main character in the drama of our lives. The generations before us have retreated into the mists of time. We do not know their failures. We enjoy their successes. Our world is built on those that have tried.

The only fear that has any standing is the fear of standing still. Our lives are short. Yet we can make an impact. We can build something. We can do something.

Embrace you fears, learn who they are. Greet them as old friends when they enter your mind. If you do that, you will overcome them. You will be able to reach your potential. You will have gained an enormous mental strength. You will have won.