How to influence others with great coaching
One of your best ways to create influence with people is by coaching. The greatest gift you can give someone is your time and your contribution to help them to improve their lives.
There are a lot of different coaching techniques. However, be yourself and find your style. When you try to be someone else, you might come across as not being authentic.
Be honest and real with your client. Don't give too much advice. It is essential to know that it's not about you or what you think is right. Leave your ego at the door and focus on your client.
What are their concerns and problems? Remember to serve them. You want your client to have a transformational experience, and that might not be the case if you sound like their aunt Nanna.
Ask powerful questions. Be brave to ask the right questions. Let go of your fear. Otherwise, you can lose your presence in the moment. Your ability to be present develops a deep connection and establishes trust. Your clients will be more open and more likely to engage fully and see the things that they don't jet see. If you tell them the answers, then it is your solution, not theirs.
Don't judge and keep your values to yourself. You can't expect that the client has the same values as you have. Be empathic and mindful.
Be more present during your coaching session by creating your rituals. Come prepared and learn as much about the client as possible.
Before the coaching session
Here is some powerful question you can encourage your client to fill in before your coaching session:
1. List key celebrations or positive results since our last call
2. Looking back over the time since our previous call.
What key insights did you have or challenges you experienced?
a) What happened?
b) What did you learn?
c) What will you do differently?
3. Look and see if FEAR or DOUBT stopped you in the pursuit of your goals/results since we last spoke. Briefly describe what happened and WHO you would need to be in that same circumstance in the future to get a different result (or keep moving forward)
4. Your Homework:
Please list any specific actions you committed to on our last call and the outcome you got.
List the top 3 goals/results you are targeting this quarter in order or priority
The coaching session
Startup the conversation by creating rapport. It is vital that the client feels at ease. An opening question can be:
How can I help? Or How can I serve you today?
These questions help you understand where the client is coming from.
Make sure that the client uses "I" instead of "you" for them to take ownership of their feelings and be more aware of their introspection.
When you as a leader coach your direct reports, here are some questions that you can ask:
Where are we going with our company/department/division?
Where are you going?
Here is what I think you are doing well within your responsibility?
What do you think you're doing well?
What is some suggestion for improvement?
If you where the coach for yourself, what advice would you have for you?
How can I help?
What would you like me to do?
Other powerful coaching questions to understand the root causes and help your client to a breakthrough are:
What does that remind you of?
How does that serve you?
What is holding you back from breaking the pattern?
Once the client has gained new insights, you must help to turn the idea into action.
What is an action step you can take from this conversation?
What are you going to do until we meet again?
The power of a coaching journal
Encourage your clients to file their coaching journal. The client's insights will stick better if they write it down. Accountability will also increase if you ask your clients to read from their journal about the resent insights and the accompanied actions towards change.
The coaching client will also be able to read and reflect on the progress, and that reinforces further action in the desired directions.
"Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen."
-Pete Carroll