Best ways to lead yourself to a fulfilled life
For you to lead others, you have to lead yourself first. It´s often the most challenging thing to do. You need to ask yourself some questions, and the better they are, the better answers you´ll get.
What do you need?
First, you have to understand the six human needs:
1. Certainty
2. Uncertainty/Variety
3. Significance
4 Love/Connection,
5. Growth
6. Contribution
You have to learn why you strive for some of them more than the other. Perhaps your parents have played a huge roll in your life, or a particular situation made a significant impact on you.
It could be that your behavior of striving for success is another way of dealing with your fear of not being enough or being loved. It´s the meaning that you put to your thoughts that creates a feeling. These feelings then generate actions that could be either good or bad for you.
It´s often called your subconscious mind, and as long as you don´t work on it, it will decide the outcome of your life.
“Until you make the unconscious mind conscious, it will control your life, and you will call it faith.” -Carl Jung.
What do you want?
You have to figure out what you want and the reasons for that. When you start to know the reasons you can either continue to do what you do or alter your way and focus more on the areas of your life that cause you real pain.
For you to live a fulfilled and happy life, you need to focus on all the six human needs, and often there is an imbalance in where you put your most effort.
What´s stopping you?
The thing that often stops us from taking action in a particular area is that we don´t have enough reasons for us to change. For a change to happen, you have to feel enough pain or see the pleasure in the future.
We are all moving away from pain and towards pleasure. But if we don´t experience enough pain, we
won´t change. Even if we don´t experience pain our mind is designed to stop you at all costs from doing anything that might hurt you.
One thing you can do is to imagine what a bad habit of yours will do to your life in 5-10 years. How will it look like then and what effect will it have on your relationships. Feel the pain and embrace it because your brain can not see the difference between your experienced feeling and the experienced ones. (This might be painful for you, and that is why so few do it)
Another thing you can do that Mel Robbins also teaches is to apply the 5 second rule. If you want to act on a goal, you must act within 5 seconds. Count backwards from 5 to 0 and then just do it. If you wait longer than 5 seconds your brain will stop you from acting. The moment you feel an instinct or a desire to act on a goal or a commitment, use the rule.
How do you see yourself?
It is what you say to yourself that becomes your reality. Tony Robbins says that “The strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves
Therefore, you need to change your language, “self-talk.” A lot of people depend on what others think of them to feel good, i.e., how many likes they get on Facebook or how much money they earn.
Some so many successful people have everything, but still, they aren´t happy. “Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure,” Tony Robbins.
What can you do?
Start listening to yourself and reason with your negative emotions and thoughts. Positive affirmations are the best thing you can do. Do it regularly (every day!).
Tell yourself the things you want to become, and eventually, you will experience a change in you. There are many affirmation lists on Pinterest or Google, and I have listened to and learned from Marisa Peer and Zig Ziglar.
Focus more on your blind spots of the six human needs. Put more action in the areas you haven´t prioritized.
Learn to be more grateful. Focus more on the things you have instead of what´s missing. It will help you to appreciate more in life. Put yourself deliberately in adversity. Examples of that could be hard training, camping in nature without much to eat, walking in the mountains, etc. Create a gratitude diary. Trade your expectations for appreciations and your whole life will change.
Visualize your success and see it already happening. This feeling will guide your action in the right direction. Hoping for something to happen is like a dream; it will never come true.
Put massive action in the areas you would like to change. Success will not come in a day it´s generated by your daily routine. Find a method that works for you.
Still your mind by being more present at the moment. Learn how to meditate, breath, noticing the beauty in life.
Reflect on where you are, where you are going, and what result you are getting. Find a place to think and check your life.
If you want to get a kick start and experience long term positive results in many aspects of life you should read more from Heather Mathews and her Manifestation Miracle Program here.
