Why leadership is influence

Have you ever had a person in your life that you connected with? Someone that you would do anything for. In this blog, I will share some tips on how you can become that person.

Leadership is influence, and your ability to influence others will be your ticket to a successful and happy life.

People will not always remember what you say, but they will acknowledge the feelings they experienced from your last conversation.

How can you make a conversation memorable then?

Well, first of all, start by putting the other person first. It is not about you; it is about them. When you show sincere interest in others, they will find you interesting.

For you to find other people interesting, you need to value them. You cannot display a sincere interest in others if you don´t value them. People will test you and see if you are there for them or yourself. 

But how can I value them if I don´t like them? 

Well, perhaps you don´t like them because you don´t like yourself. What you see in yourself, you see in others. It is called the “law of the mirror.” Leadership always starts with yourself. Value yourself, and you will be able to value others. Trust yourself, and you will trust others. Love yourself, and others will love you. 

You get the picture.

Clarity is key.

Everyone wants to know what´s expected of them. Unclear directions or orders make people unsure of themselves. When that happens, people do what they think is right or don’t engage at all.

When you delegate a task, you have to have clarity in mind; experienced people or highly trained employees don´t want to be micro-managed. Give them directions and let them find their way. This creates empowerment and increases engagement. 

However, for a person that is not highly trained or lacks experience, a more instructive teachable approach is necessary.  

The directions have to be exact, and so has the reason behind them. A decision in writing is often a great way of having everyone buy into the vision.

The direction also needs a road map which you with advantage can create together with your team. 

Variety makes everything more fun.

As well as clear expectations, everyone also needs some variety. If you do something repeatedly and don´t like it, it will create stress. 

However, if you find your passion, you can cope with monotonous work better. 

My experience is that changing jobs every once in a while is fruitful for your development. You bring with you your previous experiences, and the new surrounding makes you more susceptive to the new influences. It is effortless to go into autopilot by doing the same things over and over again.

To grow yourself, you have to have variety in your life.

Significance makes everyone feel important.

Make the other person feel appreciated, both for what they do but also for who they are. Every person is unique and makes them feel special. 

I often write Christmas cards by hand, thanking them for the work they have done. When you take the time to appreciate your employees, they will know that you are there for them, and they will trust you.

You can write an e-mail to express your appreciation. Treat everyone in your working group with a cake at the coffee break every once and a while. Explain how much you enjoy working with them and the reasons why. 

If you don´t know what to do, ask your coworkers what would make them feel appreciated. Listen to them and value their opinion. If they want a new coffee table, give them one.

Treat others as if they were a little bit better than they are, and you will see their performance increase. The opposite is also valid. Therefore, encourage people to step out of their comfort zone.

See your team as winners, and they will become exactly that. Their view of themselves becomes their reality.

Love is the driving force for good.

By fostering a culture of appreciation and kindness, you will attract that kind of people to you. In other words, you don´t attract what you want; you attract what you are. Engagement will increase, and people will go the extra mile for you. Give credit to others in front of others. Give credit to the ones that give credit to others. This is perhaps the best investment you can make by reinforcing the positive behavior you want to see. 

Nurture a learning organization that speaks of a learning experience instead of failures. Be grateful and have faith. You cannot be worried and grateful at the same time.

Love yourself and tell yourself that you are enough. Recharge your batteries to be able to give and value to others. This is important because you cannot provide what you don´t have.

Growth is necessary for a living.

Develop your people. There is no other way. What is worse, educating your people and they leave or stop developing them, and they stay. 

If people are not growing, they are dying. And by that, I mean dying inside. Engagement is going to be spoiled, and you´ll get the least out of your workforce. 

Foster a growth mindset in everyone around you. Start with yourself and lead by example. Make it a daily habit to grow yourself. The more you train, the luckier you´ll get!

A great way of fostering a growth mindset is to be clear on the fact that everyone counts. That is perhaps the most important thing people want to hear if they invest their time to become better. My experience says that the inner drive to education is the most important thing for sustainable growth. 

When you have enlightened another person’s drive for personal development, you have given them the greatest gift of them all.

The secret to life is giving.

When you help a friend, you often feel happier than the one you are helping. The generated feeling inside of you is one of the best ways to manifest your significance. Remember that significance is one of the other six human needs. You can also feel significant in different ways that don´t serve you. 

Examples of negative ways of significance are: holding on to a bad experience, jelling at others, feeling sorry for yourself, etc. 

Make sure you are giving without asking for anything in return. Positive things will happen to you anyway. The universe will see to it. If you send out love, you will get love. If you send out hate, you will see hate, etc.

Follow these simple steps, and I can promise you that you will become that memorable person you thought of at the beginning of this blog post.

Your friend
Thomas