Why connecting with people is essential for leaders

The quality of your relations determines the quality of your life. Studies have shown that you will do better in life with better relationships. More than 80% of your result is dependent on your ability to connect with others.

Therefore, the best organizations have better collaboration and trust among their co-workers. The employees do the little extra, and are more committed and engaged.

The common reason and denominator for this to is Leadership. The better leaders an organization has the better the result is going to be.

But then you might say, “But I am not a social person.”

Connecting with people is a skill that you can learn, as well as Leadership.

When I started my leadership journey, I got a tip from a friend to write Christmas cards to the people closest to me at work.

I have kept that tradition alive, and the feedback I get is always overwhelming. Sometimes I see that people keep their Christmas cards in their bookshelves or pin them to the wall, long time after the holidays are over.

I usually handwrite something personal that has happened during the past year and the things that I have appreciated.

I especially remembered one time when I wrote a card to a person for the first time. She was new to the company and here is the response I got back in a mail a couple of days later:

“Dear Thomas!

Thank you very much for your Christmas card, I loved it. I have to admit though; I usually don´t receive appreciation for my work and especially not in writing. I have not during my 27 years of work-life experienced anything like this.

I will keep this card for the rest of my life!

I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

Best regards, Mary.”

Leadership is about moving people to a higher level and to be able to do that you need to connect with them. Touch a person’s heart before he can ask for a hand. Be a servant leader.

Sending Christmas cards is one thing, but it is what you do every day that counts. Do you sit behind a desk all day long or are you out in the organization and seeing people, asking them how they are doing and how things are?

Showing an interest shows that you care, and as John C Maxwell says, “People don´t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

When you spread warmth and energy around you, it will get back to you. Your vision and guidance will be accepted, and people will follow you and do their best.

I judge the success of my day upon the seeds I saw every day.

Common sense will get you far. Treat everyone with respect and show that you appreciate others for who they are and the thing they are doing. Try to find the good things.

Perhaps not everyone will remember everything you have said to them, but they will definitely remember the feeling they had during the interaction. That feeling will come back when they meet you again or when they think of you.

Be interested in others. Ask questions and show that you care. People like those who are interested in them.

You will also attract others like yourself. As a leader, you set an example, and when you treat others nicely, others will do the same.

When you have poor connection with others, it can be like this funny story will tell you:

There was this wife who accompanied her husband to the hospital for routine control. After the medical examination, the doctor wanted to speak to the woman in private.

The doctor said to the wife,  ”-Your husband is going to die if you don´t do these following things:

1.     Give him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in the right mode.

2.     By lunch, cook him a nice meal and send him back to work with a positive attitude.

3.     At dinner, serve him an extra pleasant meal and avoid talking about the different household tours that needs to be done.

4.     Have sex with him several times per week and take care of all of his needs.

On the way home, the man asked his wife, “ What did the doctor say to you, back there?”

“You are going to die, the wife responded”